14 years old: “I’ve just become a Christian, I don’t know enough and I’m still too young to be involved in the work of the church.”

16 years old: “I’ve just got my driver’s license. I have to work to take care of my driving expenses. And of course this is the time in my life when I am very busy with friends, and you wouldn’t believe all the school activities I have! I’ll get involved a little later.”

18 years old: “I just graduated from high school! Now I need a little time for myself before I enter the ‘real world’. I’ll have more time for the work of the church later.”

20 years old: “I never knew college took so much time! When I get out and on my own I’ll have time for church work then.”

22 years old: “Boy, did you have any idea how hard it was to get started in the work place? It takes all my energy to get my career on line. And on top of that I just got married - I have to spend time to mold my new family life, too. In a couple of years I’ll be ready to really dig into the work of the church.”

24 years old: “Children! I never believed my parents when they told me how much time and money it took to raise them. I sure don’t have time for the work of the church now, but when my kids get older I’ll be able to do my share of the work then.”

36 years old: “It seems the older the kids get the more they are involved in! Home from work, then to the school functions, then sports. I’ll be glad when the kids get older so I can really be involved in the work of the church.”

46 years old: “I’ve never had so much fun! Grandchildren! I should have had them first! I can’t deprive them, but when they get older I’ll be able to really be involved in the church.”

56 years old: “I’m on my last push at work now. I’ve got to really bear down for a few years so I can be ready for retirement. And of course we have our place at the lake we’re fixing up. In a few years I’ll be able to quit the ‘rat race’ and really get involved in the church.”

66 years old: “Retired at last! I’ve worked hard so many years and now I can enjoy the fruit of my efforts. It’s time now for the young ones here at church to carry on and let us ‘veterans’ rest a little.”

Why People Hate Marriage
Joe R. Price

Malachi said God “hates divorce” because it “covers one’s garment with violence” (Mal. 2:16). It destroys what God joins together. We should not be surprised that more and more people love divorce and hate marriage. They call evil good and good evil by promoting divorce and minimizing marriage (Mal. 2:17; Isa. 5:20-21).

Men have historically hardened their hearts against God’s marriage design (Matt. 19:4-6, 7-8). Marriage is a unique relationship between a man and a woman that completes, secures and supports them on their journey through life toward eternity (Gen. 2:18-24). Jesus exalts the honor of marriage and prohibits mankind from sundering what God joins together (Matt. 19:6). We sin and will answer to God when we fail to honor the moral purity and integrity of marriage as God arranged it (Heb. 13:4).

Why and how do people hate marriage?

1. Many do not believe marriage is from God. They believe marriage is man’s idea – the product of social evolution and civil law. In truth, marriage belongs to God. God gave mankind marriage, we did not give it to ourselves (Gen. 2:18, 21-24; Matt. 19:3-6).

Marriage suffers when men and women refuse to believe and obey God, who gave us marriage (Eph. 5:22-33). Dishonoring marriage dishonors God (Rom. 1:18-32). Men and women will continue to dishonor marriage as long as they refuse to fear God and keep His commandments (Eccl. 12:13; Rom. 1:22-25).

2. Many do not accept the necessity and permanency of marriage. Marriage is needed for moral purity, yet many millions live together without being married (1 Cor. 7:2). Additionally, marriage is for life: “For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives” (Rom. 7:2). Men have written laws that make marriage easy and divorce easier. Yet, God’s law obligates the husband and wife to each other for life. The willingness to endure, to persevere, and to solve problems by working together is undermined whenever marriage is viewed as temporary and not lifelong. Our throwaway society have been conditioned to accept disposal marriage. Such sinful treatment of marriage will not escape God’s judgment (Heb. 13:4).

3. Many endorse divorce for any reason and remarriage without consequences. The Pharisees tested Jesus over putting away a wife for every cause due to their perversion of God’s purpose for marriage (Matt. 19:3-6). Jesus affirmed the permanency of marriage, but they continued to display their hardened heart toward marriage by emphasizing the legal right to give a certificate of divorce and put away a wife (Matt. 19:7-8). God has never intended for us to casually divorce (“but from the beginning it was not so”): “And I say unto you, whoever divorces his wife, expect for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery” (Matt. 19:9). We must commit ourselves to marriage as God designed it – a blessing from the beginning. One sins when he or she sunders what God has joined together.

4. Many prefer the works of the flesh. Love for this world’s lusts and pleasures blinds and destroys many souls (Gal. 5:19; 1 Jno. 2:15-17; Jas. 4:1-4). It should be obvious that fornicators and adulterers show hatred toward marriage, not love for it. We must bear the fruit of the Spirit for our marriages to be what God expects (Gal. 5:22-23). There is no law against love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness and faithfulness. These attributes fortify and honor marriage.

5. Selfishness. The companionship of marriage demands unselfishness. God planned marriage that way by saying, “…and the two shall become one flesh. So then, they are no longer two but one flesh” (Matt. 19:5-6). As long as husbands and wives selfishly demand their “rights” instead of humbly serving their mate according to God’s will, marriage will be a hateful relationship instead of one that honors God and blesses man (1 Cor. 7:4).

God’s compassion is realized in marriage when the husband and wife behave according to God’s will. “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him’” (Gen. 2:18). The devil knows the strength of a godly marriage (Eccl. 4:9). Satan tries to separate and isolate spouses from one another (Gen. 3:1-6; 1 Pet. 3:7; Col. 3:18-19). As his scheme succeeds and more people despise marriage, fewer homes will produce faithful husbands and wives, trustworthy Christians and diligent workers in the kingdom of God.

Why do people hate marriage?  Because they love what is self-serving, easy and convenient. A successful marriage is none of these. Successful marriages require responsibility, commitment and endurance. God loves marriage – do you (Eph. 5:22-33)? 

Reprint with edit:
The Spirit’s Sword (X:18) Feb. 18, 2007