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Scripture Reading:  Psalm 127

 

Nurturing Children or Raisin' Cain?

 

Intro.

1.  Request:  Please do a lesson on raising children (scriptures) with love and discipline.

2.  The question implies a link between discipline, love, & proper rearing of children.  That linkage is proper (1 Ths. 2:11-12; Heb. 12:5-6, 10-11).

3.  Children are our inheritance from God – Psa. 127:3 (Prov. 17:6).

4.  Goal:  Present our children to the Lord – Gen. 18:19; 1 Sam. 1:22; 2:11.

5.  Heavenly Father knows best how to rear children.  Listen to His word of wisdom, or we are liable to ‘raise Cain’ instead of rearing children!

 

I.  COMPREHENSIVE NATURE OF DISCIPLINE Eph. 6:4.

  A.  Instruction – cf. Prov. 1:8-9.

    1.  Teach about life; teach word of God, Deut. 4:8-10; 6:4-9; 11:18-19.

    2.  Training in righteousness (cf. Timothy, 2 Tim. 3:15).

  B.  Correction Prov. 3:12, 13:24; 22:15; 29:17.

 

II.  DIVINE GUIDANCE ON REARING CHILDREN.

  A.  Insist that Your Children Obey You – Eph. 6:1-3.  (Teach & correct)

    1.  “The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.”  (King Edward VIII, 1894 - 1972)

    2.  “There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience.”  (Anatole Broyard)  cf. Prov. 30:11

    3.  Jesus & His parents – Lk. 2:51.

    4.  Eli & his sons – 1 Sam. 2:12, 22-25, 29; 3:13.

  B.  Praise as Well as Punish.

    1.  Make the punishment fit the offense (cf. Eli, 1 Sam. 2:22-24).

    2.  Punishment w/o praise will break a child’s spirit – Col. 3:21 (“to be disheartened, dispirited, broken in spirit”).

    3.  Be fair-minded & just.

  C.  Give Them What They Need, Not Necessarily What They Want – Matt. 7:8-11.

    1.  “It is not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving them more to avoid confrontation. (John Gray, “Children Are From Heaven”)

    2.  Say “yes” when you can & “no” when you must!

  D.  Be Consistent 1 Sam. 2:12, 22; 3:13

    1.  In teaching, correction (Follow through; Stay in control).

    2.  Practice what you preach (2 Tim. 1:5).

  E.  Do Not Show Favoritism Gen. 26:28; 37:3.

     -Recognize & respect individuality while remaining impartial.

  F.  Work Together Lk. 2:51 (cf. Gen. 27:5).

    1.  Children sense conflict between parents & exploit it!  (Matt. 12:25)

    2.  Share & help each other with the children, the home, etc.

  G.  Find & Develop the Child’s “Way” Prov. 22:6.

    1.  Don’t try to make him/her into what you wanted to be, but weren’t.

    2.  Give direction & discipline fit for each – cf. Eccl. 2:3; 5:18-19; 12:1.

    3.  “The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children.  (Elain Heffner, O Magazine, May 2003)

  H.  Set Godly Examples Isa. 39:4; Prov. 4:1-4 (2 Tim. 1:5).

    1.  Love God (Matt. 22:37):  Obey, worship, put Him first, etc.

    2.  Love man (Matt. 22:39):  Honesty, fairness, kindness, mercy, etc.

  I.  Pray for God’s Help – Judg. 13:8-9; Jas. 1:5-8 (Phil. 4:6-7).

     -Rely on God’s truth to direct you – Prov. 3:5-6.

  J.  Be Patient.

    1.  Start early in life – 2 Tim. 3:15 (cf. Hannah & Samuel; Jochebed & Moses).

    2.  Stay the course – Prov. 19:18; 23:13-14; 29:15.

  K.  Confess & Repent When You Sin against Your Children – cf. Jas. 5:16.

      -Parents sin against their children (Col. 3:21).  Deal with it God’s way!

  L.  Remember:  The Responsibility & Accountability is Yours.

    1.  Seek counsel – cf. Tit. 2:4; Prov. 11:14; 15:22.

    2.  Filter the well-meaning advice, suggestions, recommendations of others through the sieve of truth & wisdom.

    3.  Beware of intrusive meddlers & meddling – 1 Pet. 4:15.

    4.  Everyone is an expert:  “Before I got married I had six theories bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.”  (John Wilmot)

 

Conclusion

1.  Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children.”  (William Penn, 1644 - 1718)

2.  Children deserve our careful attention (Prov. 29:15).

3.  Use God’s word – not human theories & “wisdom” – to teach us to train up our children in the “training and admonition of the Lord.”