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Scripture Reading:  Psalm 127

 

Nurturing Children or Raisin' Cain?

 

Intro.

1.  Request:  Please do a lesson on raising children (scriptures) with love and discipline.

2.  The question implies a link between discipline, love, & proper rearing of children.  That linkage is proper (1 Ths. 2:11-12; Heb. 12:5-6, 10-11).

3.  Children are our inheritance from God – Psa. 127:3 (Prov. 17:6).

4.  Goal:  Present our children to the Lord – Gen. 18:19; 1 Sam. 1:22; 2:11.

5.  Heavenly Father knows best how to rear children.  Listen to His word of wisdom, or we are liable to ‘raise Cain’ instead of rearing children!

 

I.  COMPREHENSIVE NATURE OF DISCIPLINE – Eph. 6:4.

  A.  Instruction – cf. Prov. 1:8-9.

    1.  Teach about life; teach word of God, Deut. 4:8-10; 6:4-9; 11:18-19.

    2.  Training in righteousness (cf. Timothy, 2 Tim. 3:15).

  B.  Correction – Prov. 3:12, 13:24; 22:15; 29:17.

 

II.  DIVINE GUIDANCE ON REARING CHILDREN.

  A.  Insist that Your Children Obey You – Eph. 6:1-3.  (Teach & correct)

    1.  “The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.”  (King Edward VIII, 1894 - 1972)

    2.  “There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience.”  (Anatole Broyard)  cf. Prov. 30:11

    3.  Jesus & His parents – Lk. 2:51.

    4.  Eli & his sons – 1 Sam. 2:12, 22-25, 29; 3:13.

  B.  Praise as Well as Punish.

    1.  Make the punishment fit the offense (cf. Eli, 1 Sam. 2:22-24).

    2.  Punishment w/o praise will break a child’s spirit – Col. 3:21 (“to be disheartened, dispirited, broken in spirit”).

    3.  Be fair-minded & just.

  C.  Give Them What They Need, Not Necessarily What They Want – Matt. 7:8-11.

    1.  “It is not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving them more to avoid confrontation. (John Gray, “Children Are From Heaven”)

    2.  Say “yes” when you can & “no” when you must!

  D.  Be Consistent – 1 Sam. 2:12, 22; 3:13. 

    1.  In teaching, correction (Follow through; Stay in control).

    2.  Practice what you preach (2 Tim. 1:5).

  E.  Do Not Show Favoritism – Gen. 26:28; 37:3.

     -Recognize & respect individuality while remaining impartial.

  F.  Work Together – Lk. 2:51 (cf. Gen. 27:5).

    1.  Children sense conflict between parents & exploit it!  (Matt. 12:25)

    2.  Share & help each other with the children, the home, etc.

  G.  Find & Develop the Child’s “Way” – Prov. 22:6.

    1.  Don’t try to make him/her into what you wanted to be, but weren’t.

    2.  Give direction & discipline fit for each – cf. Eccl. 2:3; 5:18-19; 12:1.

    3.  “The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children.  (Elain Heffner, O Magazine, May 2003)

  H.  Set Godly Examples – Isa. 39:4; Prov. 4:1-4 (2 Tim. 1:5).

    1.  Love God (Matt. 22:37):  Obey, worship, put Him first, etc.

    2.  Love man (Matt. 22:39):  Honesty, fairness, kindness, mercy, etc.

  I.  Pray for God’s Help – Judg. 13:8-9; Jas. 1:5-8 (Phil. 4:6-7).

     -Rely on God’s truth to direct you – Prov. 3:5-6.

  J.  Be Patient.

    1.  Start early in life – 2 Tim. 3:15 (cf. Hannah & Samuel; Jochebed & Moses).

    2.  Stay the course – Prov. 19:18; 23:13-14; 29:15.

  K.  Confess & Repent When You Sin against Your Children – cf. Jas. 5:16.

      -Parents sin against their children (Col. 3:21).  Deal with it God’s way!

  L.  Remember:  The Responsibility & Accountability is Yours.

    1.  Seek counsel – cf. Tit. 2:4; Prov. 11:14; 15:22.

    2.  Filter the well-meaning advice, suggestions, recommendations of others through the sieve of truth & wisdom.

    3.  Beware of intrusive meddlers & meddling – 1 Pet. 4:15.

    4.  Everyone is an expert:  “Before I got married I had six theories bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.”  (John Wilmot)

 

Conclusion

1.  Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children.”  (William Penn, 1644 - 1718)

2.  Children deserve our careful attention (Prov. 29:15).

3.  Use God’s word – not human theories & “wisdom” – to teach us to train up our children in the “training and admonition of the Lord.”