Scripture Reading: Psalm 127

Nurturing Children or Raisin' Cain?

Intro.

1. Request: Please do a lesson on raising children (scriptures) with love and discipline.

2. The question implies a link between discipline, love, & proper rearing of children. That linkage is proper (1 Ths. 2:11-12; Heb. 12:5-6, 10-11).

3. Children are our inheritance from God – Psa. 127:3 (Prov. 17:6).

4. Goal: Present our children to the Lord – Gen. 18:19; 1 Sam. 1:22; 2:11.

5. Heavenly Father knows best how to rear children. Listen to His word of wisdom, or we are liable to ‘raise Cain’ instead of rearing children!

I. COMPREHENSIVE NATURE OF DISCIPLINE – Eph. 6:4.

A. Instruction – cf. Prov. 1:8-9.

1. Teach about life; teach word of God, Deut. 4:8-10; 6:4-9; 11:18-19.

2. Training in righteousness (cf. Timothy, 2 Tim. 3:15).

B. Correction – Prov. 3:12, 13:24; 22:15; 29:17.

II. DIVINE GUIDANCE ON REARING CHILDREN.

A. Insist that Your Children Obey You – Eph. 6:1-3. (Teach & correct)

1. “The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.” (King Edward VIII, 1894 - 1972)

2. “There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience.” (Anatole Broyard) cf. Prov. 30:11

3. Jesus & His parents – Lk. 2:51.

4. Eli & his sons – 1 Sam. 2:12, 22-25, 29; 3:13.

B. Praise as Well as Punish.

1. Make the punishment fit the offense (cf. Eli, 1 Sam. 2:22-24).

2. Punishment w/o praise will break a child’s spirit – Col. 3:21 (“to be disheartened, dispirited, broken in spirit”).

3. Be fair-minded & just.

C. Give Them What They Need, Not Necessarily What They Want – Matt. 7:8-11.

1. “It is not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving them more to avoid confrontation. (John Gray, “Children Are From Heaven”)

2. Say “yes” when you can & “no” when you must!

D. Be Consistent – 1 Sam. 2:12, 22; 3:13.

1. In teaching, correction (Follow through; Stay in control).

2. Practice what you preach (2 Tim. 1:5).

E. Do Not Show Favoritism – Gen. 26:28; 37:3.

-Recognize & respect individuality while remaining impartial.

F. Work Together – Lk. 2:51 (cf. Gen. 27:5).

1. Children sense conflict between parents & exploit it! (Matt. 12:25)

2. Share & help each other with the children, the home, etc.

G. Find & Develop the Child’s “Way” – Prov. 22:6.

1. Don’t try to make him/her into what you wanted to be, but weren’t.

2. Give direction & discipline fit for each – cf. Eccl. 2:3; 5:18-19; 12:1.

3. “The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children. (Elain Heffner, O Magazine, May 2003)

H. Set Godly Examples – Isa. 39:4; Prov. 4:1-4 (2 Tim. 1:5).

1. Love God (Matt. 22:37): Obey, worship, put Him first, etc.

2. Love man (Matt. 22:39): Honesty, fairness, kindness, mercy, etc.

I. Pray for God’s Help – Judg. 13:8-9; Jas. 1:5-8 (Phil. 4:6-7).

-Rely on God’s truth to direct you – Prov. 3:5-6.

J. Be Patient.

1. Start early in life – 2 Tim. 3:15 (cf. Hannah & Samuel; Jochebed & Moses).

2. Stay the course – Prov. 19:18; 23:13-14; 29:15.

K. Confess & Repent When You Sin against Your Children – cf. Jas. 5:16.

-Parents sin against their children (Col. 3:21). Deal with it God’s way!

L. Remember: The Responsibility & Accountability is Yours.

1. Seek counsel – cf. Tit. 2:4; Prov. 11:14; 15:22.

2. Filter the well-meaning advice, suggestions, recommendations of others through the sieve of truth & wisdom.

3. Beware of intrusive meddlers & meddling – 1 Pet. 4:15.

4. Everyone is an expert: “Before I got married I had six theories bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.” (John Wilmot)

Conclusion

1. Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children.” (William Penn, 1644 - 1718)

2. Children deserve our careful attention (Prov. 29:15).

3. Use God’s word – not human theories & “wisdom” – to teach us to train up our children in the “training and admonition of the Lord.”