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Scripture Reading:  Proverbs 31:23-31

Marriage Roles and Responses (2)


1.  God gave us marriage and established within the relationship the necessary roles & responses for it to flourish, Eccl. 9:9.

2.  Part 1:  God’s core role of husband:  Head of the wife (Eph. 5:23).

   -Husband’s role: Servant-leader, as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25-29); Mk. 10:42-45:  Service--Sacrifice--Salvation.

3.  Part 1: God’s core response of wife to headship: Submission, Eph. 5:22-24 (1 Pet. 3:1-2, 5-6).

4.  Wife also has a core role in marriage; it defines her essential place and her vital responsibility in marriage.

5.  In turn, the husband has a core response without which, marriage is a burden to the wife, bitterness to the husband and a battle in which there are no winners, only losers.



  A.  You are a Suitable Helper, Gen. 2:18. (Help meet, counterpart)

      1.    God uniquely made you to fill a role nobody else can.  (Find fulfillment in being what God wants you to be.)

         a.  “Husbands have gaps in their lives that their wives are uniquely qualified to fill.” (174)  He needs special attention only you can give. Without your help he is prone to imbalance and blind spots.

         b.  While there is mutual responsibility toward each other in marriage, the wife’s essential role is helper; she completes her husband!

      2.    You complete, not compete against, husband, Prov. 31:11-12.

         a.  Competitors exploit weaknesses to gain the upper hand; helpers “fill in the gaps” and help support in weak areas.

         b.  Competitive wife stirs husband to aggression and retaliation, or to withdrawal rather than caring, supporting and meeting the wife’s needs. Prov. 19:13; 21:9, 19

      3.    Helper is not inferior (Heb. 13:6); Expresses loving care and concern. (God is not our inferior, yet He helps us!)

      4.    Helper comforts (Jno. 14:16-18). Encourage your husband; be his source of confidence, assurance and invigoration against the world’s harshness.

  B.  You are a Homemaker, Titus 2:3-5.

      1.    Lit., a house guard; “caring for the house,” “the (watch or) keeper of the house,” “domestic”.  Guard the house (family).

      2.    Love (philandros) husband: wish well of a companion.

      3.    Manage the house, 1 Tim. 5:14.  Guide the house (family); Prov. 31:12, 15, 27.

      4.    Make your home the focus of your life, not your career.

      5.    Prioritize your life around your home and family.

  C.  Warning: That the Word of God may not be Blasphemed, Tit. 2:5.

      1.    Wife’s role transcends fads and cultures.

      2.    At stake is the organizational structure God created to make a marriage work!

      3.    Wife who meets her role (helper-homemaker) honors God.



  A.    Praise and Honor are the Masculine Counterpart to Submission.

      1.    Warned against bitterness toward wife, Col. 3:19. Authority expressed in praise, not “might and power” expressed in tyranny.

      2.    To accomplish: Dwell with understanding (knowledge), 1 Pet. 3:7.

         a.    Find out her needs and desires, and supply them.

         b.    Recognize this is a daily learning process.

         c.    When in doubt, ask!

      3.    Ways you can praise and honor your wife [cherish, Eph. 5:28-29] (or, reasons why wives won’t become angry and resentful toward their husbands):

         a.    Husband is caring toward her.

         b.    Husband is appreciative of her.

         c.    Husband is unselfish toward her.

         d.    Husband is not lazy or passive in helping her.

         e.    Husband has good listening habits.



1.    Although the husband is called to lead and provide for the home, the wife’s special role is to make it a home.

2.    Husband’s challenge is to respond with praise and honor for his wife (acknowledge her, understand her).

3.    Husbands and wives are joint-heirs of life’s favor and blessings, 1 Pet. 3:7.




-Preparing for Marriage, Dennis Rainey, editor, pp. 173-177