Scripture Reading: Proverbs 2:10-17

Dating: The Protection of Purity (#1)

(If you love Me, you will follow Me)

Intro.

1. We will be talking about real life: “It would be nice to have a lesson on self-control and discuss lust and appropriate relationship affection for pre-marital couples.” (Not just a young person problem!)

2. Parents & older brethren: We are charged by God’s word to be teaching our children/young Christians about these things (Tit. 2:3-4; Eph. 6:5).

a. Young people need to listen, respect & learn God’s will on this subject, Prov. 7:1-5.

b. Young people: This kind of teaching is designed to help protect your heart! (Psa. 119:9; Prov. 4:23; 1 Pet. 5:8)

3. Three people to be concerned about when you date: God, the other person & yourself. You must please God in all things (2 Cor. 5:9) Rom. 12:1; Col. 3:1.

4. The world’s view & God’s view on dating are vastly different:

World’s view produces…

God’s view produces…

Sin & regret

Purity & holiness

Selfishness…reproach

Self-respect

Bitterness & damages godly relationships

Safe, secure, godly relationships (Psa. 127:1)

Passing pleasure, no lasting satisfaction (Heb. 11:25)

Solid foundation for the future (happiness in marriage)

a. World says: “If it feels good, do it” (Epicureans, 1 Cor. 15:32).

b. God says: Flee youthful lusts & protect your purity, 2 Tim. 2:22.

5. Dating is a new experience that God wants you to enjoy in purity, with responsibility, Eccl. 11:9-10; 1 Jno. 3:3.

6. Lesson on self-control, lust & appropriate relationship affection for pre-marital couples.

-WARNINGS & ENCOURAGEMENTS FROM GOD-

I. LOVE OR LUST: DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?

-(Pre-marital & extra-marital sexual conduct is the ultimate act of selfishness.)

A. What are you Talking About? (Defining some terms)

1. Self-control: “the virtue of one who masters his desires and passions, esp. his sensual appetites” OLB; Gal. 5:23. Keep your heart: Pursue righteousness (right decisions) from a pure heart, 2 Tim. 2:22.

2. Lust, Col. 3:5 (evil desire: “desire, craving, longing, desire for what is forbidden, lust”).

a. What are you thinking? Looking at? Why? For how long? (Job 31:1; Matt. 5:28) – Mind is corrupted!

b. Animal desires (“let nature take its course”); cf. “hand check” on band trips.

3. Lewdness (lasciviousness), Rom. 13:13; Gal. 5:19 (Mk. 7:21-23; 1 Pet. 4:3).

a. “Unbridled lust, excess, licentiousness…shamelessness…wanton (acts or) manners, as filthy words, indecent bodily movements, unchaste handling of males & females, etc.” (Thayer, 79-80)

b. MTV, Saturday Night Live, cyber-porn, monologues…

c. Bodily caressing, fondling, etc. (cf. Gen. 26:8); Arousal of sexual desires.

d. Do you encourage lust & lascivious conduct by what you wear? (Parents, teach & monitor modest clothing of our children.)

4. Fornication, 1 Cor. 6:18; Gal. 5:19, 21.

a. Outside of marriage, defilement of sex, Heb. 13:4.

b. Fondling, etc. (lasciviousness) is the prelude…prepares the mind & body for intercourse.

c. Homosexual behavior (a choice).

B. Do you know the Difference between Lust & Love?

-Lust is selfish & pleases self (often at the expense of the others); love is unselfish; it pleases God & the other person.

1. Lust is based on what she/he is, 1 Jno. 2:16; Matt. 5:28; Prov. 6:25.

a. Society puts so much emphasis on the outward appearance: Sends the wrong message to young people about respect, love & morality, 1 Pet. 3:3-4.

b. Based on the flesh/outward (SS 7:1-9, Solomon’s lust for girl).

2. Love is based on who she/he is, Prov. 31:30 (10-12); SS 5:8-16.

a. Pre-marital sex is not love – it is the dishonoring of the body in the fulfillment of sinful lusts, Rom. 1:24; 1 Cor. 6:13.

b. Sex is not love; purity of sex is an intimate expression of love between husband & wife in their God-approved marriage, 1 Cor. 7:2; Heb. 13:4 (honor, cherish, etc.); 1 Cor. 13:4-8.

C. What will Lust, Lasciviousness & Fornication Cost Me? Eccl. 11:9; Num. 32:23; Prov. 13:15 (soul, happiness, peace of mind)

1. Cost your soul (Matt. 16:26).

2. Cost your innocence, reputation, peace of mind & self-respect (Acts 23:1).

a. cf. Hotel California: “You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.” You will never be the same! (House of the Rising Sun) – Burden & bondage of sin.

b. You can repent & be forgiven; you can be purified (1 Cor. 6:9-10; 1 Jno. 1:9).

c. The regret, loss of innocence & the loss of influence remains.

3. Cost your life (STD’s; unwanted pregnancies, regrets, etc.).

Conclusion

1. Can you live with the consequences of pre-marital / extra-marital sex? (Heb. 12:15)

a. Some do, but are you willing to pay the price?

b. Sow to the flesh and reap corruption! Gal. 6:7-8)

2. Nobody can live with God while fulfilling the lusts of the flesh, Gal. 5:16-17, 24-25 (Rom. 8:5-8). So, put it to death, Col. 3:5.

3. Are you the answer of a parent’s prayer for the person their child will meet? You can be God’s answer to a parent’s prayer by protecting yourself with purity.

To be continued...