Scripture Reading: Proverbs 1:8-16

Dating: The Protection of Purity (#2)

(If you love Me, you will follow Me)

Intro.

1. Continue studying the Bible about young people, self-control, lust and “appropriate relationship affection for pre-marital couples.”

-(Review of Part 1)-

2. Dating is a new experience that God wants you to enjoy in purity, with responsibility, Eccl. 11:9-10; 1 Jno. 3:3.

3. The world’s view & God’s view on dating are vastly different:

a. World says: “If it feels good, do it” (Epicureans, 1 Cor. 15:32).

b. God says: Flee youthful lusts & protect your purity, 2 Tim. 2:22.

4. Lesson on self-control, lust & appropriate relationship affection for pre-marital couples.

5. Three people to be concerned about when you date: God, the other person & yourself. You must please God in all things (2 Cor. 5:9) Rom. 12:1; Col. 3:1.

a. Young people need to listen, respect & learn God’s will on this subject, Prov. 7:1-5.

b. Young people: This kind of teaching is designed to help protect your heart! (Psa. 119:9; Prov. 4:23; 1 Pet. 5:8)

-WARNINGS & ENCOURAGEMENTS FROM GOD-

I. “DO YOU WANT TO GO ON A DATE?” (What is moral?)

A. Pressures & Boundaries of Dating.

1. Holding hands: is it sinful? No

2. First kiss: is it sinful? Depends...

3. The first hug: is it sinful? Depends...

4. What about going farther (long kiss, long embrace, etc. – causes lust to build); is it sinful? Yes. Rom. 12:1 (These actions don’t make you an adult!)

a. What are you trying to prove: You’re a man? Approval? Acceptance? Popularity? To please our friends?

b. To go farther &/or to see how far you can go is choosing to be drawn into situations where you lose self-respect…lose self-control: Lust, lasciviousness & fornication. (Eph. 5:3)

c. Illus. Story of the two roses. Moral: Girls, don’t pass yourself around to every guy; and, worldly guys always want a fresh one.

B. Dating Decisions. (SS 2:7; 8:8-9)

1. “Healthy dating relationships aren’t just about finding the right person; they’re about being the right person—conducting oneself in ways that reflect God’s character” (Shawn McMullen, “Dating relationship-when God is in control”).

2. Dating is a matter of respect: Showing it & demanding it.

3. Attracting the opposite sex: How do I get a date?

a. Not by drawing worldly attention to yourself (with immodest clothing, profane speech & immoral conduct).

b. By being moral, respectful, friendly, decent & kind…you will attract those who have similar interests.

c. You may also attract some who don’t, who want to test you – “a challenge” – etc. (Will you be able to know the difference?!)

4. When you date: What to do? Where to go? When to be there?

a. Don’t put yourself in sinful or tempting situations (late night, alone in the car, at home, etc.), 1 Cor. 10:13 (Gen. 39:12); Parents, don’t put them in that situation.

b. Don’t think you can’t be tempted or that you can stop whenever you want: You can get to a point of no return! Stop it before it starts! (Is it love or is it lust?)

c. Guard your body from being used for the devil’s purposes (Prov. 6:27)

1) Is God’s will on sexuality only about “protection?” “Performance?” Safe sex? No! God’s will is that you guard your heart! (1 Ths. 4:3)

2) Abstinence is God’s commandment! The best form of birth control! (STDs…1 Ths. 5:22). (What part of “no” don’t you understand?!)

3) If you haven’t, you can repent (Lk. 7:37, 50).

C. Can you Stop, Really? (Reality checks) (Don’t go there! 1 Ths. 5:22)

1. What a guy says to a girl:

a. “If you love me you’ll let me.” (“You don’t love me because you won’t let me.”) (cf. Oranges) – Heb. 12:16

b. “How can it be so wrong when it feels so right?!” (Gal. 6:7-8)

c. “You’re so beautiful…I just can’t help myself.”

d. He will use flattery (to gain an advantage to fulfill his desires).

2. A girl say/does to a guy:

a. It’s about what she wears, how she moves, a touch, a glance, a flirt, where she stands & where she sits (cf. Prov. 7:7).

b. The seduction of flattery & flesh, peer pressure & popularity (Prov. 7:5, 15-18, 21-22). “I’m the only virgin left!” Don’t believe it – it’s not true!

3. Be sure you are being desired for the right reason: (When they talk, do they look you in the eye?) – Gal. 4:17

4. Both need to apply the brakes…but, don’t go down that road to start with! (Balance it, Eccl. 11:9).

II. THE PROTECTION OF PURITY:

A. Protect your Soul, Psa. 119:9 (11); Job 31:1; Rom. 6:23.

B. Protect your Body, 1 Cor. 6:12-20.

1. Someone says: “But God made me this way!” Exactly! So follow His instructions for godly living (2 Pet. 1:3).

2. Rom. 1:27 – STDs (can lead to cancer); unwanted pregnancies…

C. Protect your Influence, 1 Cor. 15:33-34; 1 Pet. 2:11-12.

D. Protect your Happiness, SS 8:6 (Phil. 4:8).

E. Protect your Future, Heb. 12:14-17.

1. Pre-marital sex is based on immediate pleasures of the flesh.

2. Pre-marital sex causes bitterness of heart (sell your purity for a moment of passion, Heb. 11:25).

3. Premarital sex can cause lifelong regrets & many sorrows; & physical miseries (herpes, chlamydia, etc.).

Conclusion

No defilement…no regrets, 2 Cor. 11:2. If there is sin, it can be cleansed! (Acts 22:16; 8:22)